Lets Annoy People.....

Sometimes I like to annoy people, just because people annoy me sometimes and I like to give back to the world. Also, its really funny.



Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.


Repeat everything someone says as a question. (I actually do this alot...opps)

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

Ask people what gender they are.

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Sing along at the opera.

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.


Practice making fax and modem noises.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.

Drum on every available surface.

Set alarms for random times.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.

Ask to "interface" with someone.

Never break eye contact.

Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.


Throw stones at people walking past your house.

Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.

Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.

When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.

Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.

Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.


Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"

While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.

Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"

Super Glue quarters to floors.

Diet VS. Amazing Food

Seriously, I don't know what it is about those last ten pounds. Its like those last ten pounds are an enormous fire breathing dragon in front of the gate to limitless happiness and hotness where you frolic around in tiny cute outfits and jog on the beach in a bikini.

I made it down to 105, furiously swinging my mighty sword of strength and persistence at the dragon, but in those last few moments the dragon presented Thai food and egg rolls and it was all over. I lost.



When I'm not on a diet I like food alot, but never feel like it is anything special. But suddenly, when Im on a diet - every morsel of food looks so unbelievably delicious I cant even stand it! And the SMELL! Has food always smelled so amazing? And even weirder is that at the very start of a diet - I feel really empowered, like Ive taken a new step and nothing can temp me from my fate of being a super hot sexy lady who nibbles on healthy food and trains for marathons in her spare time. But then, of course after I start seeing awesome results and the pounds are dropping and I'm really reaping the benefits from all my hard work and determination - thats when it happens.



First its just one meal out, kinda like a present to myself for being so fantastic and such a winner. Then I check my weight the next morning and nothing, no weight gain - so I figure, hmm that didn't even phase me, so I eat out again and go a little more off my diet. Suddenly I'm a little too tired to wake up and make breakfast, and I don't want to make dishes dirty right before bed so I don't make my chicken lunch for the next day. Then, what do you know - I'm 110 pounds.





WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!! Why do I get so close to victory I could touch it and then throw it all away!!! Do I hate myself? Am I sabotaging myself? Why do I do this?! And I want to meet my goal - I really do - its just whenever I get right to the point where I'm going to make it - I fuck up and take ten steps backward. Why isnt this addressed in diet books? I mean I know exactly how to get to where I want to be, I know what to eat, I know how to work out - I have all the tools and ability to get down to my goal weight, but right before I reach it I fail!

Its like my mind pretends to stop caring about my goal whenever I get close to it. Am I a freak or what? Is this something that happens to everyone? How come this isn't addressed in diet books and stuff? I read self improvement books and motivational books to keep me going, but I am not joking - something in my mind is sabotaging me and I'm really mad at myself for letting this happen. Its definitely a food thing, when I am hungry I feel like I'm really hungry and my body needs food and I tell myself that one eggroll wont hurt....then when I'm full I get mad at myself and know that I didn't need that eggroll and I'm disappointed for not controlling myself and then I want to get on an even stricter program to punish myself and to make up for the weight I gained being a fatty.



Luckily Ive managed to reel myself back in. I made my portions smaller and I'm getting back on my diet and I'm already back down to 108 pounds. Now I just have to alter my plan and re-evaluate. I wont let this stop me and knowing that I keep running into this goal-block will just make me more aware. I just hate having such ridiculous setbacks when I am smart enough to know better. Will keep you posted....................

Ah yea!!!!

Right now I weigh 105 pounds....and tonight I started my workout. Will post weight at the end of the week ;)

Ahhhhhhhh!!! Its working!!

Well, of course I had faith -but actually seeing results is AWESOME! Ive been on my diet since Tuesday - weird day to start but I really needed to go to the grocery store and stock up. So anyways, Ive been on my diet since Tuesday (today is Friday) and Ive already lost 4 pounds!! I weigh 108 pounds right now!! Yeek!




I haven't started my workout yet because I was afraid it would be too ambitious and that it might be too much at once, so I'm starting my workout plan next week. I have to admit - whenever I see yummy food on TV my mouth starts drooling, but I really really want to look drop dead gorgeous by May 1st - and no food will ever compare to the feeling of meeting my goal and being a 100 pounds and super foxy! haha.


I will continue to stay on my diet, kick ass & stay focused!

Diet & Workout

Alright, I have devised my master plan for success.

Yesterday I figured out that to make my goal of losing 12 pounds by May 1st - which is 89 days away - that I would need to cut my calorie intake to 472 calories a day.

Today, I figured out my diet and workout plan. I had a personal trainer devise my workout routine with the intention of creating a lean, fit body - so I am going to follow this plan and go to the gym for one hour every morning.

15 minutes of cardio

45 min of strength training

For the strength training - I will do upper body and then lower body every other day.

For my diet, I wanted to have alot of protein..but not alot of fat or carbs. Of course, I need some carbs for energy but I didnt want to get those from bread - so I found another way to get those in. Here is the diet plan:

Breakfast:
3 egg whites & 1 red grapefruit (152 cal)


Snack:
Banana (105 cal)


Lunch:
Boneless, skinless chicken breast (200 cal)


Snack:
Cottage cheese (182 cal)


Dinner:
Kesella (188 cal)

This comes to a total of 827 calories a day, just under my allowance. Plus, I will be working out so I will burn additional calories. The percentages of calories on this diet comes to 10% fat, 58% protein and 32% carbs. I used Fit Day Diary to figure this out.

Now I am going to get started on this plan. I know it is going to take alot of motivation to wake up early every morning and work out and prepare my food for the day - but when I think of the end results - I know its worth it.

"I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." - Anatole France

"Some give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before." - Herodotus

"Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price." - Vince Lombardi