Diet VS. Amazing Food

Seriously, I don't know what it is about those last ten pounds. Its like those last ten pounds are an enormous fire breathing dragon in front of the gate to limitless happiness and hotness where you frolic around in tiny cute outfits and jog on the beach in a bikini.

I made it down to 105, furiously swinging my mighty sword of strength and persistence at the dragon, but in those last few moments the dragon presented Thai food and egg rolls and it was all over. I lost.



When I'm not on a diet I like food alot, but never feel like it is anything special. But suddenly, when Im on a diet - every morsel of food looks so unbelievably delicious I cant even stand it! And the SMELL! Has food always smelled so amazing? And even weirder is that at the very start of a diet - I feel really empowered, like Ive taken a new step and nothing can temp me from my fate of being a super hot sexy lady who nibbles on healthy food and trains for marathons in her spare time. But then, of course after I start seeing awesome results and the pounds are dropping and I'm really reaping the benefits from all my hard work and determination - thats when it happens.



First its just one meal out, kinda like a present to myself for being so fantastic and such a winner. Then I check my weight the next morning and nothing, no weight gain - so I figure, hmm that didn't even phase me, so I eat out again and go a little more off my diet. Suddenly I'm a little too tired to wake up and make breakfast, and I don't want to make dishes dirty right before bed so I don't make my chicken lunch for the next day. Then, what do you know - I'm 110 pounds.





WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!! Why do I get so close to victory I could touch it and then throw it all away!!! Do I hate myself? Am I sabotaging myself? Why do I do this?! And I want to meet my goal - I really do - its just whenever I get right to the point where I'm going to make it - I fuck up and take ten steps backward. Why isnt this addressed in diet books? I mean I know exactly how to get to where I want to be, I know what to eat, I know how to work out - I have all the tools and ability to get down to my goal weight, but right before I reach it I fail!

Its like my mind pretends to stop caring about my goal whenever I get close to it. Am I a freak or what? Is this something that happens to everyone? How come this isn't addressed in diet books and stuff? I read self improvement books and motivational books to keep me going, but I am not joking - something in my mind is sabotaging me and I'm really mad at myself for letting this happen. Its definitely a food thing, when I am hungry I feel like I'm really hungry and my body needs food and I tell myself that one eggroll wont hurt....then when I'm full I get mad at myself and know that I didn't need that eggroll and I'm disappointed for not controlling myself and then I want to get on an even stricter program to punish myself and to make up for the weight I gained being a fatty.



Luckily Ive managed to reel myself back in. I made my portions smaller and I'm getting back on my diet and I'm already back down to 108 pounds. Now I just have to alter my plan and re-evaluate. I wont let this stop me and knowing that I keep running into this goal-block will just make me more aware. I just hate having such ridiculous setbacks when I am smart enough to know better. Will keep you posted....................